Most people, understandably, will do almost anything to avoid going to court for any number of reasons, including the financial cost, the loss of privacy, the inevitable calcification of antagonism between you and someone you married, the pain it causes children and other family members, and the fear of putting your life in the hands of a complete stranger, sitting on a bench at the front of a courtroom. (Not to mention all those moviesâ€”Kramer vs. Kramer, The War of the Roses, The Squid and the Whaleâ€”that act as cautionary tales, the horror stories bounced around the Internet, and those of people you know.)
Whether they are children of intact, separating, divorcing, or unmarried families, children require the financial support of their parents. In fact, parents are obligated to provide support for their children. That is simple enough, but when parents are separating, divorcing, or unmarried, determining how much support must be paid, to whom the support is to be paid, the expenses to which the support is applied, and what to do if support is not paid, becomes very difficult.
There may be many reasons for the trend toward the increase of divorces after age fifty-- "late life" or "grey Divorces" as they are sometimes called. It may be that we are living longer and we are more mindful about quality of life, or perhaps it is that men and woman are more similarly situated these days with regard to finances and retirement planning, and it may not be necessary to stay together for financial survival.
Marriage rates have been on the decline. Some choose to wait longer to marry, wanting to achieve personal and professional success prior to settling down. Some choose not to marry at all, opting instead to live together, young as well as old.
Divorce is an extremely stressful time, especially when there are children involved. The best thing you can do is to take extra special care of yourself. This will of course not only benefit you but also your kids. They will feel a lot more relaxed if they see that you are relaxed and in good spirits. Here are a couple of things you can do to help minimize your stress and help you cope.
GO COLLABORATIVE! In the Collaborative Divorce Process, each party is represented by an attorney who has been trained in collaborative law. Through that training, the attorneys learn to expand their focus, to move from achieving a targeted outcome at all costs, to guiding and supporting BOTH parties in the collaborative divorce with the goal of achieving a unique outcome, designed to launch each party into a safe and secure future. Be assured, you will have the benefit of your own counsel advising you and protecting your interests.